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Ruby Seidner: Poetry Collection


My metamorphosis began when I was a little girl

unafraid to express all emotions with my tongue stuck out,

and one hand on my hip.

Until, the day I learned that my I love you’s

and political rants would be met with awkward smiles,

and heads turning away from me.

When that happened the little girl broke, and what was left in her place

was a shy preteen so afraid to make the wrong

move, she hid behind not caring,

behind slacking, and a raunchy sense of humor

Because why try, if every good idea,

every dream realized, every report card

will always lead to another death, another friend lost,

another rejection, and another day that ends in tears.

This girl isn't forever,

but the person in her place isn't that much better.

Because after her came a teenager trying so hard to be perfect,

trying to make every good grade, every achievement, every piece of linear writing

numb the emotions she tries to forget.

That girl still exists, as my next metamorphosis hasn't happened yet.

I’m changing though, i’m diving into my heart and soul,

trying is trying to find the mutant underneath

the pounds of makeup.

The warrior with the confidence of a thousand suns.

The oddity who owns her curves.

The freak of nature who charges forward towards a future that may not even exist.

The goddess with geodesic cosmic energy,

that she uses to create ballads of love, hate and everything in between.

The adolescent that holds her lover's hand without the fear that someone will break her own.

The girl who is okay.

Maybe this wonder exists, maybe she is what she looks like, or maybe she is something else completely.

All I know as I drown in the bile of my own heart

is that she is someone worth looking for.

About the Author:

Ruby Seidner is a high-school student who has been writing since she was a little girl. She has been published in The Global Youth Review, The Coterie Youth Mental Magazine, and AllTeenpolitics with forthcoming publications from Polyphony Lit's blog, and Chewing Dirt Magazine. She lives in California with her parents and two dogs.

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